You’re Not Broken: Understanding Trauma’s Impact and How Healing Begins [Client Spotlight: Maya's Story]

Maya's Story*

When “Maya” first came to therapy, she didn’t use the word trauma. She said things like,

“I just can’t relax.”

“I’m always waiting for something bad to happen.”

“I feel like I’m too much — or not enough.”

She thought she was just dramatic. Or broken. Or bad at relationships.

But as we worked together, she began to understand that what she thought were personality flaws were actually the echoes of emotional wounds — years of walking on eggshells, of being unseen, of always having to be the “strong one.”

Through therapy, Maya learned how her nervous system was doing its best to protect her — even when it made her feel disconnected or overwhelmed. And when she stopped blaming herself and started listening to her body with compassion?

That’s when the healing started.

She didn’t need to be fixed. She just needed space to feel safe, supported, and whole again.

Maya's story is more common than most realize. If you're curious about trauma then continue reading as we discuss the topic. Get a pen and paper out (or pay close attention and you, too, might discover levels of freedom waiting for you!).

Let's dive in!

You’re Not Broken: Understanding Trauma’s Impact and How Healing Begins

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I feel this way?” or “Why can’t I just move on?”, you’re not alone — and you’re not broken.

The word “trauma” can feel heavy, clinical, or even out of reach. But trauma isn’t just about what happened to you — it’s about how your nervous system was impacted by what happened. Understanding trauma's impact on you can be life changing.

At its core, trauma occurs when an experience overwhelms your ability to cope, process, or feel safe. That might include a major event like a car accident, assault, or natural disaster (shock trauma). But more often than we talk about, it shows up in the small, chronic, or relational wounds — a parent who couldn’t attune to you emotionally, a caregiver who criticized instead of comforted, or years spent in an unsafe or invalidating environment.

Trauma Hides in Plain Sight

Because trauma lives in the body, not just the memory, its effects can linger long after the event. You might be experiencing trauma if you notice:

• Feeling constantly on edge or hyper-alert

• Numbing out — emotionally or physically

• Reacting strongly to seemingly “small” triggers

• Struggling with trust or connection in relationships

• Feeling stuck in patterns you know don’t serve you

These aren’t signs of weakness — they’re signs of a brilliant nervous system doing its job to keep you safe. They’re adaptations. Survival strategies. And they make sense in the context of your history.

The Myth of “It Wasn’t That Bad”

Many people hesitate to name their experience as trauma because it “wasn’t as bad as someone else’s.” But healing doesn’t come from comparison — it comes from recognition.

The truth is: trauma is subjective. What overwhelms one person might not overwhelm another. And whether your trauma came from a single moment or a thousand subtle ones, your story matters.

The First Step: Understanding the Nervous System

One of the most empowering shifts in trauma recovery is realizing that your reactions aren’t who you are — they’re your nervous system trying to protect you.

When your system perceives danger (real or remembered), it can flip into:

• Fight or flight (anxiety, irritability, overworking)

• Freeze or fawn (shutting down, people-pleasing, dissociation)

Healing starts by creating safety, often through small somatic (body-based) practices, gentle awareness, and sometimes, trauma-informed therapy.

There Is Nothing Wrong With You

This is the heart of trauma healing: you don’t need to be “fixed.” You need to be seen, supported, and reconnected to parts of yourself that learned to hide in order to survive.

Working with a trauma-informed therapist can help you process the past without being overwhelmed by it. You’ll learn to regulate your nervous system, build new patterns, and begin to feel safe — not just in the world, but within yourself.

Resources to Go Deeper

If this resonates with you, here are some trusted resources to explore:

Books:

• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

• Healing Developmental Trauma by Laurence Heller & Aline LaPierre

• What Happened to You? by Oprah Winfrey & Dr. Bruce Perry

• Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker

Podcasts & Media:

• On Being with Krista Tippett – Resmaa Menakem on Healing Racialized Trauma

• Therapist Uncensored – Attachment & Trauma Episodes

Scholarly Articles:

• Neuroscience of Trauma – Harvard Review of Psychiatry

• Trauma-Informed Care in Behavioral Health Services – SAMHSA

You Deserve to Feel Whole Again

Healing from trauma isn’t about erasing the past. It’s about reclaiming your present. And with the right support, you can move from survival into safety, and eventually, into true connection — with yourself and with others.

If you're in the Los Angeles, Ventura County, Santa Barbara or surrounding areas, we would be happy to get you connected with one of our licensed therapists. If you are outside of California then consider searching "therapist near me" to guide you to an experienced therapist experience in trauma work.

Your Team at Elevate Mental Health

805.244.6919

Info@ElevateMentalHealth.com 

Book a session with Elevate Mental Health for therapy in Camarillo California

*Please note that names have been changed to protect the privacy of the person(s) shared.