Joy and Emotional Regulation: How Positive Emotions Help You Cope and Build Resilience
- Elevate Mental Health
- Aug 8
- 3 min read
When we talk about coping tools in therapy, we often think about breathwork, grounding, or boundaries. But one of the most powerful tools for emotional regulation is also the most underestimated: joy.
Joy is often seen as an outcome of healing—but the truth is, joy itself is a catalyst for healing. When intentionally practiced, joy becomes a tool for restoring balance, building resilience, and reconnecting with what feels good in the body and mind.
The Powerful Connection Between Joy and Emotional Regulation
There’s a direct relationship between joy and emotional regulation. When you experience joy—whether through connection, play, music, or movement—it activates the ventral vagal system in the body, calming the stress response and inviting safety.
This isn’t just a nice idea; it’s neuroscience. The Broaden-and-Build Theory by psychologist Dr. Barbara Fredrickson shows how positive emotions like joy expand our thinking, increase flexibility, and improve our ability to manage difficult situations.
Joy is not a break from coping—it is a biologically supportive state that strengthens your ability to regulate emotions and return to a grounded state more quickly.
Why We Dismiss Joy When We Need It Most
You might resist joy when you need it most. Stress, trauma, or perfectionism can condition us to believe:
“I haven’t earned joy yet.”
“This is too serious for laughter.”
“Feeling good right now means I’m avoiding what’s real.”
But in therapy, we learn that emotional regulation doesn’t mean suppressing emotions—it means having a wide enough window of tolerance to allow both grief and joy to coexist. And joy gives your nervous system the strength to stay open in the face of discomfort.
Therapy Helps You Reconnect with Joy and Emotional Regulation
A core part of healing in therapy involves helping clients rebuild trust in joy. Many people come into therapy completely disconnected from pleasure or unable to relax without guilt. That’s a sign of nervous system dysregulation—not a personal failure.
Therapy helps by:
Exploring your history with joy and safety
Identifying beliefs that block positive experiences
Practicing joy in small, tolerable doses
Pairing moments of joy with grounding and mindfulness
Teaching your body that joy and emotional regulation can co-exist
As joy becomes safer to access, it also becomes more available during hard moments—not to escape, but to support you through them.
Therapy Tools That Use Joy for Regulation and Resilience
Here are three ways therapists help clients strengthen joy and emotional regulation together:
1. The “Joy Recall” Body Scan
Recall a joyful memory and focus on how it feels in your body. This anchors the experience and signals safety to your nervous system.
2. Micro-Joy Scheduling
Identify one small joy to build into each day. A 10-minute walk. A favorite drink. A playlist that lifts your energy. Repetition creates regulation.
3. Journaling for Joy Literacy
Each night, write down three things that sparked lightness or contentment. This helps your brain become more fluent in joy and less reactive to stress.
Recommended Resources
Books:
Podcasts:
Joy Isn’t an Escape—It’s a Return
Joy doesn’t mean ignoring pain. It means making room for what’s life-giving even while honoring what’s hard. It’s a way to expand your emotional capacity, to restore your nervous system, and to remember what you’re fighting for in the first place.
When joy becomes a tool—not just a reward—you stop waiting to feel better to enjoy your life. You start practicing it now, and in doing so, you lay the groundwork for true, sustainable change.
If you're in the Los Angeles, Ventura County, Santa Barbara or surrounding areas, we would be happy to get you connected with one of our licensed therapists. If you are outside of California then consider searching "therapist near me" to guide you to an experienced therapist experience in trauma work.
Your Team at Elevate Mental Health
805.244.6919
Camarillo, California
*Please note that names have been changed or removed to protect the privacy of the person(s) shared.