"I didn't know I was stressed." How Stress Shows Up In Disguise

Ever find yourself snapping at someone you love, having trouble concentrating, or feeling exhausted even after a full night of sleep? You might tell yourself it is just a rough week or that you are not feeling like yourself, but underneath it all, you could be experiencing stress. And you might not even know it.

We tend to think of stress as a racing heart, sweaty palms, or being overwhelmed by a long to-do list. But stress does not always come with warning lights. Sometimes it shows up quietly, settling into your body and mind in ways that are easy to overlook; sometimes it shows up in disguise.

If you have been feeling out of sync, this post is for you.

1. Stress Often Shows Up in the Body First (it's disguised)

Before we feel stress emotionally, our body often carries it physically. Common physical symptoms of hidden stress include:

• Tight shoulders or neck pain

• Tension headaches

• Digestive issues such as bloating or constipation

• Clenching your jaw or grinding your teeth

• Changes in appetite or disrupted sleep

We tend to blame these symptoms on posture, a bad meal, or a poor mattress. But when these experiences become chronic or seem unrelated to a clear cause, your body may be asking for help.

Helpful Resources:

• The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk

• Article: Stress symptoms: Effects on your body and behavior - Mayo Clinic

2. Emotional Changes Can Be Clues

Have you noticed yourself feeling:

• More irritable than usual

• Easily tearful or withdrawn

• Unmotivated or emotionally flat

These emotional shifts are often signs of chronic stress. When we do not consciously acknowledge that we are overwhelmed, the feelings often come out sideways. How? The stress shows up in disguise, in these feelings: Irritability, restlessness, and emotional numbness can all be signs that something deeper needs attention.

Helpful Resources:

• Permission to Feel by Dr. Marc Brackett

• Article: How stress affects your emotions - American Psychological Association

3. Mental Fog and Forgetfulness Are Real

Stress can have a direct impact on your brain’s ability to focus and retain information. Many people experience:

• Difficulty concentrating

• Trouble making decisions

• Forgetfulness or mental blanks

You may describe this as feeling disconnected or mentally scattered. That is because chronic stress affects the brain’s executive functioning and memory systems.

Helpful Resources:

• Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers by Dr. Robert Sapolsky

• Article: Stress effects on memory and attention - National Library of Medicine

4. Changes in Behavior Are a Red Flag

Some people deal with stress by staying excessively busy. Others cope by withdrawing from daily life. Common signs include:

• Overcommitting or staying constantly busy

• Isolating from others or avoiding routines

• Losing interest in hobbies or self-care

Whether you are speeding up or shutting down, both patterns are responses to stress. They are your nervous system’s attempt to manage overwhelm in the only way it knows how.

Helpful Resources:

• Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski

5. You Feel Fine Until You Finally Slow Down

A common experience people share in therapy is that they feel fine during the day while managing responsibilities, but they crash at night or on weekends. This pattern is often the result of functioning in a high-stress state and then suddenly shifting into rest.

The moment the pressure lifts, you may suddenly feel tired, emotional, or even physically unwell. This is your body catching up with the stress you have been pushing through.

What Can You Do About It?

You do not have to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. When you work with a therapist, you can:

• Understand how your body and mind respond to stress

• Build coping strategies that fit your lifestyle

• Learn how to regulate your nervous system

• Reconnect with your energy and emotional clarity

Our therapists are trained to help you name what you are experiencing, explore where it shows up, and support you in building a life that feels calmer and more connected.

A Client’s Turning Point*

“At first, I didn’t think I needed therapy. I was functioning. But I couldn’t sleep, I felt annoyed all the time, and I was completely worn out. I thought maybe something was wrong with me. But my therapist helped me see I wasn’t broken. I was carrying more than I realized. Being able to name it and understand it made me feel more in control. That changed everything.”

You Deserve Support Before It Becomes a Crisis

Stress does not need to be dramatic to be real. And it does not need to get worse before you are allowed to ask for help.

If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Reach out to schedule a consult or explore how therapy can support you right where you are.

If you're in the Los Angeles, Ventura County, Santa Barbara or surrounding areas, we would be happy to get you connected with one of our licensed therapists. If you are outside of California then consider searching "therapist near me" to guide you to an experienced therapist experience in trauma work.

Your Team at Elevate Mental Health

805.244.6919

Info@ElevateMentalHealth.com 

Book a session with Elevate Mental Health for therapy in Camarillo California

*Please note that names have been changed or removed to protect the privacy of the person(s) shared.